Seasons and Horizons

There are songs that entertain us, and then there are songs that become part of our story.

After my daughter Kiley died, one of those songs for me was Truth Be Told by Matthew West. I didn’t just listen to it once. I played it over and over. It met me in a season when I didn’t have the words to explain what I was feeling.

Before losing Kiley, I could sympathize with parents who had lost a child. I knew it must be painful. But sympathy and understanding are not the same thing. Until you’ve walked through that kind of loss, you don’t fully understand how deeply it changes you.

One of the greatest lessons that season taught me is that we never really know what another person is carrying.

We ask, “How are you?” and almost everyone answers, “I’m doing okay.” Sometimes that’s true. Sometimes it’s all we have the strength to say. Behind those few words may be grief, fear, loneliness, regret, or a battle no one else can see.

If I’m honest, I still carry one regret.

Kiley had a season pass to Six Flags. We lived only a few minutes away, and more than once she asked me to go with her. I was tired from work. I kept saying, “Not today.”

Looking back, I wish I had gone.

Would it have changed anything? I don’t know. Maybe not. But when someone you love is gone, the moments you said “no” are often the ones that echo the loudest. Today, if one of my kids asks me to go to the zoo, take a walk, or spend an afternoon together, my perspective is different. I know those ordinary moments are never really ordinary.

Not long before Kiley died, we sat down with our pastor and youth pastor. During that conversation she spoke openly about her faith. She talked about wanting to follow the Lord while also struggling with the pull of temptation. That conversation gave me peace. It reminded me that God was already at work in her heart.

After she passed away, something else happened that surprised me. Student after student shared stories about the impact Kiley had made on their lives. She never believed she mattered that much. But she did. More than she ever realized.

Maybe that’s another truth we all need to remember.

We often underestimate the difference a kind word, a listening ear, or simply showing up can make in someone else’s life.

Truth be told, we are all carrying something.

And truth be told, we all need a little more grace than we usually receive.

Grief has a way of changing us. It can make us more patient, more compassionate, and more aware that every person we meet is carrying a story we may never know. If this post reminds you of someone, reach out to them. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give another person is simply letting them know they don’t have to carry their burdens alone.❤️